Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Scared Little Girl

When was the last time you admitted you were scared? When was the last time you actually felt your fear, let yourself sit in it, be with it, and instead of intellectualizing it, gave it your undivided attention, love, and approval?

Well, a friend of mine has done just that. And, her comment on a recent post has inspired me to tell you more about her.

For 30 something years this woman has pushed through her fears. She has gone to work, held a management position, been appreciated and financially rewarded for her ability to be "in control" and hold it all together. But, for all these years, she's had a secret.

While her ability to take charge was, and still is, a strength, it has also been a cover for how out of control she's really felt. She's realized that a long-ignored part of her feels quite vulnerable, intimidated, and very much at the mercy of people and situations that seem out of her control.

Recently, this Take Charge Woman realized she was tired - tired of trying to hold it all together, tired of going to work with a knot in her stomach, tired of surviving, but not thriving. And so she found the courage to ask the knot in her stomach what it wanted to tell her. And it said, in the voice of a little girl, "I'm scared."

Instead of trying to reason with the little girl, instead of pushing her aside, instead of trying to shut her up with a cookie, this brave woman decided to listen to her.  She learned how to be still, acknowledge her, love her, and be with her, which was all the little girl ever really wanted.

Now the Take Charge Woman and the Scared Little Girl have a relationship. They talk on the way to work. They talk on the way home. They bought a pink and turquoise bicycle, with a basket on the front. The woman says that now it feels like they've become one - no more knots in the stomach, no more dreading going to work.

Will you join me in celebrating and appreciating this woman for her courage? And, will you also join me in learning how to love the Take Charge Woman and Scared Little Girl in all of us?

With love and compassion for us all,


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  1. Great article, Shelly! I applaude this woman for her courgage to share her secret. It is very comforting to know that other woman have some of the same feelings that I experience. With your help, I've come to realize how so many of us don't love all parts of ourselves unconditionally. It is something I am striving for and well worth the time and energy. As you mentioned above...not just surviving, but thriving!

    1. Yes Molly. And you've confronted some technology fear! Yes, it's a journey for all of us. Isn't it comforting and empowering to know that challenging situations are but opportunities to love ourselves better and more deeply? Kinda takes the whole feeling like a victim thing out of it. Doesn't it?


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