I had quieted my mind. I was minding my own business, feeling my body, feeling myself, feeling my feelings, being with myself, and then I heard . . . . . . .HIM? . . . a masculine, quiet, calm, solid, loving, oh so loving voice, said, "I love you . . . I will always love you . . . I will never leave you . . . You are mine . . . You are perfect . . . You are my dream come true . . . I am always here for you . . . I want to help you, support you, help you make your dreams come true . . . I want to be with you always . . . You are my heart's desire . . . I want to be with you . . . . . . . . forever."
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I am your Beloved. We are one. I will never leave you. I am with you always."
I basked in his love, swam in it, immersed myself in it, and asked again, "Are you God, my higher Self, an angel?"
And, all I heard for sure was "We are one, the same. You are me and I am you and I love you. "
David Deida writes that before a woman can truly have a fulfilling relationship with a man, she must first fall in love with the man inside herself. Was this the man in me? Had I finally made up with him, resolved my love/hate relationship with him? Or, was this God coming to me in a form I really needed? Was this Jesus? Was this Muhammad? Was this my twin soul?"
The answers seemed to be, "Yes, yes, yes, and more yes."
And really, what difference did it make? Love is love, and the more I sat with this love, this man, over the next few days I knew, "There is no substitute for this love. No earthly, human, flawed person could ever love me with such purity, such depth, such strength of devotion."
And then I realized, to my surprise, that it didn't matter.
For, he and I were, and are . . . . . ONE.
Post a comment by clicking on "# comments" below. You may do so anonymously. Or, . . . . . .
Share with a friend by clicking on the big "M" below.
I learned to talk to the little girl inside she was so scared and as I did we became one in this womans body All I had to do was listen to her and now we are one and much calmerReplyDelete
Hooray for you Anonymous! You are an inspiration and reminder to us all. Isn't it amazing that just being with, just acknowledging, just listening to the scared parts of us can be so transformative?Delete
you got that right Thank you shellDelete
I can not believe I have just read those words of yours - how I happened to come upon them - but I feel each and every word. I have turned to only truthfulness - you are my favorite of the 4 children.Delete
Kind - you and your mom went many places for competitions. I feel love for you having just read the words. How can I do more or read more?
You have already done more than you realize by posting your comment, and feeling and expressing your love here. I created this on-line journal so women like me and you could have a safe place to express ourselves and grow in our own love, with the support and recognition of each other.Delete
As for reading more, if you enter your email address where it says "follow by email" under my picture, and follow the steps, you will receive new journal entries automatically by email. If you have trouble with this, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll be glad to help.
You can also check my official website www.thehorsetherapist.com But mostly, just look out for future posts on this blog, and comment when you feel moved to do so, as you have done here.
Knowing I have friends looking forward to my posts, inspires me to keep at it. And, your comments seem to stir whatever truth wants to speak through me.